It always takes some big drama to give ihearthollyoaks a good kick up the arse, and what a drama.
It’s been a grim, grim week in Chester. Arguably, the grimmest ever. What a disturbing three days, but what a riveting conclusion to a plot that’s been simmering away for almost a year.
And if we’re being honest about it, Tina’s the one we’d have killed off, too. We know we shouldn’t say it, but you so know it’s the truth!
Even though we knew it was coming, it still made our heart skip a beat. The return of the McDean!!! Craig seems to have mellowed considerably since he last left our screens.
Now we’re finally going to find out just how serious about Kieron John Paul really is. (And vice versa). If you cast your minds back, it was John Paul who refused to get on the plane because Craig wouldn’t engae in public displays of affection. (Then went on to start seeing a Catholic priest…).
So which will it be? The fallen vicar or the prodigal son?
Let’s start with baby Max. Suddenly, everything’s gone topsy turvy. Tina’s been getting her bits out for secret breast feeding sessions with baby Max. But it ends up working in her favour. Suddenly, everyone switches sides, and Tony hands Max back to Tina and Dom! Poor baby doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.
Meanwhile, Calvin’s got himself into heap big trouble after dealing a death blow to nasty Nige. As if Warren didn’t already have Calvin by his short and curlys after catching him on CCTV letting Nige go, now he’s an accessory to murder. Looks like Carmel’s going to have her poor heart broken again. But will she go running back to her old flame?
In other news, Ravi and Leila turn out to be brother and sister. Justin and Ste have suddenly become bosom buddies. Louise and Mandy have set up shop together as wedding planners. As if things couldn’t get worse for Steph, she’s thrown into an epileptic seizure by a thunderstorm while making her big tv comeback..
But our favourite moment of all? Josh has written ANOTHER SONG FOR AMY! Awww!!! Too bad she couldn’t be bothered to turn up and hear it. Still, is there a chance it could it still be AmyJosh4ever after all?
It’s getting good again. We’re all tingly!
And yet - and YET - we return to find that we’ve had more hits than ever! Craziness. Absolute insanity.
Shame on us, and cheers to you. And the good news is that we’re back and ready to blog our socks off once more!
You know, we really used to like Dom, once upon a time. He was a real sweetie. Was.
But ever since this whole surrogacy storyline, he’s become unbearable. First there was the whole business of him appearing to think Tony and Tina were actually going to have sex. Then there was the whole business of him running off, because he couldn’t see what an amazing and beautiful sacrifice Tina was making for her sister. Now this.
It’s not like we’re entirely unsympathetic, don’t get us wrong. The latest twist throws an entirely different light on things. But the fact remains that this is not his baby. And it’s not Tina’s, either, even if she provided the egg and the oven.
There’s a lot of heaviness in Hollyoaks right now. Let’s hope for some lighter moments soon!
So, Max’s death was hard enough to deal with, and we didn’t even really like him.
But now it seems that John Paul’s time on the show is nearing an end, too! James Sutton’s decided he wants to move on and try other things. Fair enough, I suppose. We’ve still got him for a while though. He’ll be leaving the show in September.
The question is, how will John Paul leave the show? Hopefully, he’s not going to be slaughtered like Max.
We have one clue, though. Just as OB resurfaced for Max’s wedding/funeral, Craig Dean is going to be returning for a brief spot again, too, Coincidence?!
Could it be a happy ending?
Be honest, i heart hollyoaks devotees. You’d given us up for dead, hadn’t you? And with good reason, after 2 weeks of non-posting.
But two big climaxing storylines have brought us out of our slumber. First off, Father Kieron’s big outing! But don’t blame Myra, blame John Paul. He’s the one who walked right into the church to find her, then he has the nerve to ask her not to make a scene?! Pretty poor behaviour, in our books. But it had the desired effect, it’s all out in the open now. But what’s the fallout going to be?
Moving on to Max. We’re the first to admit we never really had much sympathy for Max. Ever the spineless loser, always jumping to the wrong conclusion, always choosing the wrong turn. Still, it was sad and surprisingly emotional seeing him go the way he did. Once again, we were blindsided - even though we knew Max would be leaving the show, we never dreamed he’d be run over on his wedding day! Poor Steph. Poor Tom. Poor O.B.
Goodbye Max.
Words fail us. When did you sink so low, Sasha?!
But finally, Lauren’s starting to show some human kindness. We think it’s a vast improvement over the darker Lauren they were starting to develop. Now if only Newt can make a similar transformation. They’re so much more loveable as misunderstood emos than twisted teenagers, don’t you think?
Oh, loyal i heart hollyoaks readers, I don’t deserve your loyalty! A whole week has whizzed by, and I’m ashamed to say I’ve been out of the Hollyoaks watching loop!
Shameful. Just shameful.
But I’ve got a couple of tid bits to share with you. First of all, it seems that our favourite soap is so powerful, even the Government are trying to get a piece of the action! It seems that they had discussions about using Hollyoaks to help glamourise their new diploma qualifications (because barely anyone’s signed up so far). Where will it end? Today the UK Government, tomorrow - the world?
We can but dream.
In other news, remember that weird live music showcase, featuring characters from Hollyoaks in The Dog and The Loft? Well it must have been more successful than we thought, because it’s got the green light to become a whole spin-off series! Who knew?
That’s all for now, folks.
Hollyoaks couldn’t be hotter at the moment. After scooping all the glory at the British Soap Awards, Hollyoaks has once again led the pack by becoming the first British soap to go high definition.
They’ve already started filming in HD, and they’re going to be broadcasting in HD from June 2nd - just over a week from now!
(But unless you’ve got an HD box, it’s not going to make a lick of difference).
