Thursday, January 31, 2008

NASTY NIALL

Bloody hell, we’re used to some wacky storylines on Hollyoaks, but injecting your long-lost half-sister with heroin for revenge?! That’s pretty extreme by any standards! The McQueens certainly have a lot on their collective plate at the moment.

Meanwhile, 2 Andrew Lloyd Webber appearances down, which means there must be only one more to go. Which means we shouldn’t have to suffer the Summer storyline for very much longer. Hurray!

Before I go, something I’ve been meaning to mention. It’s nice to see a few fresh faces in the opening credits, but couldn’t they have stumped up the cash to do a proper job of it? It’s a bit of a botched job, don’t you think?

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 00:59:33 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

THE OTHER MUSICAL JACKSON

No, not Michael or Janet Jackson. Not Tito, Germaine or LaToya Jackson. Not even Randy Jackson.

No, I’m talking about X Factor 2007 winner Leon Jackson, who, according to Digital Spy, has got the mother of all schoolboy crushes on none other than Hollyoaks’ Hannah (Emma Rigby). 

Bless!  

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 10:39:00 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

SNOOZEFEST

So we’re supposed to be getting all excited about Summer’s London debut, but does anyone really care? She’s barely been on the show as a character, done nothing remotely interesting or controversial, and now that we already know she’s going to be leaving soon, we’re supposed to care about her storyline? Snore!

At least Stephanie de la Dean is entertaining in a car-crash/cringeworthy sort of way when she’s on the audition trail. 

This is one of the few times can’t wait for Summer to be over!  

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 00:45:08 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, January 28, 2008

OH NO THEY DI’DN’T!

Three words.

Catholic.

Priest.

GAY! ! !

You evil geniuses, you!
Strap yourselves in, Chesterites. I think this rides about to get ever so deliciously bumpy again.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 00:40:04 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Friday, January 25, 2008

STEP AWAY FROM THE LOSER

No, Nancy, no! Run, Nancy, run! Don’t you remember. Jake is mental, remember! M-E-N-T-A-L.

Urgh, what is it with these Dean girls. Is it genetic, is that it? Is there some kind of weird hereditary condition that blinds them to his mental instability? He’s a self-obsessed, spoiled, emotionally manipulative bastard of a boy.

It’s actually getting to the point where I genuinely feel sorry for Kevin Sacre. Imagine having to go out in public when you play such a loser on TV! You have nothing to fear from i heart hollyoaks, though Kevin. We can still make out the line between reality and gloriously scripted, perfectly paced melodrama (just).

At least the blossoming relationship between Hannah and Danny is helping to lighten the mood a bit.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 00:14:44 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

SPREAD IT!

The word, that is. Keep spreading the word about i heart hollyoaks, loyal readers, because it’s working!

After a dip in readership over the holidays (my bad, I took too many days off from blogging), the hits are really starting to stack up every day.

That gives us a warm, fuzzy feeling. Thanks, and keep it up!

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 13:37:05 | Permalink | Comments (2)

POOR WEE CHARLIE!

The truth, you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! Yes, we all knew Justin Burton would one day come to light as Baby Charlie’s biological father. But boy, we could never have predicted exactly how it would finally surface.

But what a price to pay for the truth coming to light! Let’s stay positive, though. There’s every reason to believe that Charlie will pull through. And at least he won’t have to grow up with a loser like Jake for a father. He can grow up with a loser like Justin for a father instead!

Sorry Russ, you don’t get to be the white knight this time after all. The spell Nancy was under is well and truly broken. (Seriously, did you see how quickly she shrugged him off. SO LONG, DOUCHEBAG!).

Incidentally, there’s a new book that’s just come out about the Jake/Nancy effect. It’s called ‘gaslighting’, apparently - when one partner convinces the other that they’re basically rubbish, and alters their self-image to make them a doormat.

We like to keep things educational here at i heart hollyoaks.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 13:34:13 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, January 21, 2008

CHIPS, GLORIOUS CHIPS!

Well, that was short lived! Here we were, hoping for some sparks at Ste and Amy’s flat with the arrival of Michaela McQueen. Turns out all it took for her to forgive Myra’s bitch slap was some chips. God bless those McQueens! You gotta love ‘em. Long may they reign.

The men of Hollyoaks, however, continue to sink ever lower. Although Darren has redeemed himself slightly by playing the role of the prodigal son, Jake grows ever more mental by the second. But we all know resident white knight Russ will save the day, as always.

Mind you, he might have his hands full sorting out Dom first. Can anyone explain what the hell Dom’s problem is? He’s still acting like Tina and Tony slept together. I can’t help feeling like a quick biology lesson might sort out this problem! He’s not exactly big on experience, poor fella.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 11:52:15 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

THREE’S COMPANY

Michela, Amy and Ste sharing a flat? Sounds like a dangerous cocktail, boys and girls! But guaranteed to be entertaining. In fact, throw a McQueen, any McQueen (well, maybe not Tina - but she’s not a proper McQueen, despite her indiscretions) into any situation, and it’s bound to get spicier.

Just think of the possibilities. Maybe Amy and Michaela will go all Thelma and Louise on Ste’s girl-beating arse - we haven’t had a Hollyoaks murder for a while.  Or maybe Michaela will steal baby Leah and sell her to Jacqui and Tony.

Oh hang on, what about Nasty Nige? Is he still on the scene, or what? Poor Amy. Talk about a rock and a hard place. Nige on one side and Ste on the other? Come to think of it, Michaela’s probably the best potential partner!

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 23:02:27 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

FANCY A BARNES?

It seems the best way to get into the pants of one of the Barnes’ parents is to make friends with their kids first! Worked for Rhys, and now it’s working for Zoe, too. (Yes, I know - technically it was Kathy Barnes who seduced Rhys, not the other way round. But he still went for it!)

Still, it could have been worse. He could have hooked up with Michaela! It could be on the cards someday, you just never know. Somehow, I don’t think she’s got much of a future with Father Kieron, do you? 

Not much else to mention at the moment. Things seem to have cooled down slightly for the time being. But I think I can feel the temperature rising again already… 

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 13:03:31 | Permalink | Comments (1) »