Thursday, February 28, 2008

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH NIALL?

Ok, come on Hollyoaks writers, fess up. You just can’t really decide what you’re going to do with Niall, or when. Do you?

First, he was supposed to be part of a big Christmas storyline. But that never really amounted to much. Then they go to the opposite extreme, and give him the heroin storyline. But now what? What was the point of him getting Michaela to move in, only to push her out again. What’s his game?! WHAT?!

It’s all very confusing. It feels like he’s just at the bottom of the writers’ list, and he’s been put on the back burner so many times that no one really cares anymore.

Closure, we need closure!

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 14:15:21 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

THE BITCH IS BACK

Typical, isn’t it? They finally get the uber-irritating Claire off our screens, only to have her pop up in Albert Square!

Yes, Claire the deranged witch has resurfaced as… Claire the deranged witch! Same name, same character, different soap.

Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your telly!

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 00:43:48 | Permalink | Comments (3)

AWWWWWWWW

Oh those Hollyoaks writers! They may be geniuses, but they are a right soppy bunch of romantics, aren’t they?

We could barely watch Max and OB’s long goodbye, it was cringeworthy and yet we just couldn’t manage to wrench ourselves away, either. Can you believe how young OB looked in those clips? It is the end of quite a long era.

Goodbye Darren Jon-Jeffries (that’s Sam ‘OB’ O’Brien to you and me). Hope Hollyoaks was the springboard for greater things.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 00:41:21 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Friday, February 22, 2008

NEWT SO NICE

Aww, we LOVE Newt!!!

We have to be honest. We almost went off him earlier this week, when he pulled that stunt to get revenge on Darren. And actually, he’s been pretty nasty to Russ for no good reason, too.

But all is forgiven, after everything that went down at The Dog. Warren took the words out of our mouth, tonight. “You’re a good kid.” Yes, he IS a good kid. He’s a sweetie pie, in fact.

Who else would have the balls to give Warren advice? Even more to the point, who else would Warren actually take advice from?

For he’s a jolly good fellow! Hip hip hurrah!!!

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 19:50:44 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!

Yee-ha Hollyoaks lovers! Our favourite show is back on top form. We were LITERALLY on the edge of our seat tonight. Oh, the drama, the drama. Hostages, heart attacks, armed response units, gunshot victims! Never mind Hollyoaks, this is pure Hollywood-style action, baby!

Will he make it? Won’t he make it? I’m not naming any names, or being any more specific, in case you haven’t seen it yet.

On a lighter note, best line of the week comes courtesy of Louise: “You know, I wet myself once”.

Classic.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 19:27:45 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

FOUNTAIN VS. FICTION

It’s the darndest thing, dear readers, but ever since being wowed by Chris Fountain’s ice dancing, we’ve suddenly got a lot more sympathy for Justin Burton! Unlike Jake, the irredeemable loser, he still has a good heart, really. Of course, it helps that he’s finally stepping up to the plate where Charlie’s concerned. That makes him a lot more likeable.

On a totally different note - how on earth did we never notice before that Jack’s last name is Osbourne! Jack Osbourne?! And like his real-life counterpart, he comes from a hopelessly dysfunctional but highly entertaining family.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 19:18:27 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, February 18, 2008

GO CHRIS, GO!

Shamefully, we have to admit that we hadn’t seen any of Chris Fountain’s (that’s Justin Burton, to you and me) skating on Dancing On Ice. But we finally caught his ‘Cry Me A River’ routine, and it was sensational! He totally blew the competition away. While most of the other men were struggling to complete their compulsory spin, Justin nailed his like a pro.

We’re delighted for Chris. But we can’t help wonder. How long will he want stay on Hollyoaks after this?…

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 22:12:23 | Permalink | Comments (2)

OOOHHH. BBQ CHICKEN!

Did you spot Hollyoaks’ own wrongly accused paedophile and swimming coach Simon flogging Chicago Town pizza in ad spots during American Idol on ITV? Talk about a million miles from humdrum.

Is this a move up or down the career ladder? We’re not really sure! 

 

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 22:08:23 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, February 11, 2008

WHO WANTS TO SEE JUSTIN NAKED?

Any Justin Burton admirers in the house? Hot news. Chris Fountain is Cosmo’s centrefold for March. And guess what? You can see it right here:

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/H/hollyoaks/gallery/previous/08/specials/chrisFountain/

Yes, it’s a nude shot. No, you don’t get to see the merchandise.

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 23:46:42 | Permalink | Comments (2)

DUDE, SHE’S YOUR SISTER!

Rhys man, wake up! She’s your SISTER, man! Your kids will be DEFORMED, mate! It’s as is you were doing HANNAH! It’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

Wow. Incest, heroin. They’ve really cranked things up a few notches in Chester’s favourite fictional suburb! Even Jake has managed the impossible, and gone just a little bit more mental. Someone needs to save Nancy, and fast. But who will it be? Justin? He certainly seemed concerned by Jake’s behaviour. 

Could Nancy be rescued from one of her dead sister’s exes by another - who just happens to be the biological father of her nephew? 

You couldn’t make it up.

 

Posted by ihearthollyoaks at 23:41:20 | Permalink | Comments (2)