i heart hollyoaks

First up, Max. My god, man. Have your balls actually descended yet? Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe it’s time to seek medical attention. What other reason can there be for this spineless behaviour? On again, off again, on again, off again. And what makes the whole thing so endlessly frustrating is the fact that it’s all much ado about NOTHING!

Then there’s John Paul. Why? Why must he always fall for the unavailable man? We spent the best part of a year agonising over the ‘McDean’ forbidden romance. Now a priest, for goodness sake! We’re not sure how much more we can stomach!

And yes, you guessed it, the return of OB will coincide with Max’s big exit. But will it be as spectacular as Claire’s exit?

People on Hollyoaks don’t tend to stray too far from their core characters, and that’s what we love about them. Which is why the new, moody Max is such a turn off. It just doesn’t ring true! Suddenly, he’s full of venom. Could this have something to do with OB’s return guest appearance?

Max isn’t the only badly behaved man in our beloved fictional suburb, either. Warren’s losing his grip. Jake’s beyond mental. And Dom is being an utter douchebag about the surrogacy. Note to Dom: no one thinks it’s weird except YOU!

Sexiest Female - Roxanne McKee (Louise)
Best On-Screen Partnership - Darren Jeffries and Matt Littler (Max and OB / Ernie and Bert)
Best Actress - Emma Rigby (Hannah)
Best Actor - Chris Fountain (Justin ‘too busy Dancing on Ice to turn up’ Burton)
Best Exit - Gemma Bissix (Ho bag Claire)
Spectacular Scene of the Year - Claire’s drives over the cliff

The night definitely belonged to Hollyoaks, even though they didn’t take home Best Soap. But they’re in pole position for next year!

Max and OB won ‘Best Screen Partnership’ at the awards, and they’ve been busy filming scenes together. According to OB, it’s only going to be a short storyline, not a permanent or recurring thing.

Bert and Ernie are back!

Among the awards they took home were best actor and actress awards, and prizes for sexiest female, best exit and spectacular scene of the year.

But who won what? Well, you’ll have to watch for yourself. The British Soap Awards air this Wednesday (7th May) on ITV1 at 8pm.

Hollyoaks and the Spice Girls. Two of my life’s big obsessions, brought together as one. 

Yes, Hollyoaks is finally cementing its position as one of the big boys. But they need your help! Just follow this link, and cast your vote.

VOTE HERE: http://www.britishsoapawards.tv/

Sorry, loyal readers. Not a single new post last week. We’re hanging our heads in shame, slapping our wrists and self-flaggelating at this very moment.

Truth be told, we have been trawling the net for some juicy nuggets of gossip and trivia - but nothing doing!

Never mind, though. Things are hotting up in Chester this week, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty for us to talk about.

Meanwhile, poor Gilly is about to have his heart wrenched apart again. And once again, he’s been betrayed by an Ashworth. Poor Gilly. Poor floppy-haired, gullible Gilly. But once again, that’s what you get for having Rhys as your best friend.

But if you think things are getting good now, buckle your safety belts. Kevin Sacre (aka Jake) announced that he’ll be leaving the show after May. You haven’t seen the last of him Jake yet, but the producers are promising a MEGA HUGE twist for his exit.